Honor in a Real Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7) Sermon Notes

Honor in a Real Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7) Sermon Notes

  • 1988 1st date (age 17). 1992 married (age 21). 1996 planted church (age 25)
  • Today – faithfully married 28 years in August, Sept/Oct turn 50, 5 kids
  • Real Marriage book– tour & media (Barbara Walters, Dr. Drew, Piers Morgan, Fox Friends)
  • Marriage Today/XO Real Marriage Podcast (Win Your War book giveaway)
  • Marriage is created by God for 1 man & 1 woman
  • We love marriage and believe it is for BOTH happiness and holiness
  • [email protected] questions (READ ONE)
  • Principles apply generally to other relationships 

Honoring Your Non-Christian Spouse

1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Believer & Unbeliever

Don’t date or marry (highest divorce rates 2 people different faiths, house divided)

  1. Did marry an unbeliever but now need God’s grace to save spouse & marriage
  2. Did marry someone you thought was a believer but now is not practicing
  3. Both married as unbelievers, one got saved & other is not yet saved


  1. Chs 2-3 – “honor” authority you do not always agree with “every human institution”
  2. Most of the time, if a husband converts so does the wife. Opposite not as common.
  3. In that culture, husband chose the family religion. Wife has divided loves
  4. In that culture, the wife did not have the same legal rights

Not own property, vote, or testify in court (like a strict Islamic country today)

  1. She has explained Jesus/Bible to him & he has rejected (do not obey the word). Often this is because a man in authority does not want to come under authority.
  2. If your spouse is not under God’s authority, you appeal to God over them
  3. If you claim Jesus, your character is your resume & witness to lost people
  4. What is respectful varies from person to person so kindly asking is most helpful
  5. The goal is not to win the arguments, but to win the spouse
  6. You can get between God and your spouse, so get out of the way

Wives Honoring Their Husbands

1 Peter 3:Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Questions for Grace

  1. Why does God emphasize the internal over the external?
  2. How does lifestyle require wealth, whereas character is equal opportunity?
  3. What does “quiet” & “gentle” mean in the context of a marital disagreement?
  4. Why is Sarah a hopeful example for women?
  • Sarah – not perfect but belonged to God & matured through life. Her outward was beyond her inward life at the beginning. Adultery idea. Lie. Laughed at God
  1. Why is it important for the Scriptures about husbands and wives to NOT be applied to men and women in general?
  2. Which common “fears” do women have and how does that affect their marriage?

Husbands Honoring their Wives

1 Peter 3:Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

  1. Honor her spiritually – Initiate church, prayer, Bible reading, ministry service, and godly friends
  2. Honor her emotionally – Empathy & consideration, being emotionally present, not disclosing to the wrong people
  3. Honor her physically – Protective of her, present with her, non-sexual touch
  4. Honor her sexually – “one woman man”
  5. Honor her verbally – Good not bad nicknames, volume & tone count
  6. Honor her financially – Work hard, plan jointly, spend wisely, give generously
  7. Honor her practically – Architecting life so that it works for both of you (house, schedule, chores etc.)
  8. Honor her parentally – Unified front as parents, not speaking ill to the children
  9. Honor her consistently – God is unchanging which makes Him faithful, godliness is the same

-Your wife is God’s daughter

-Anointing is what your family needs most

8 Ways To Win At Marriage

  1. You are both under God’s authority
  2. You will have independent thoughts and disagree
  3. Seek to influence, not control, one another
  4. Learn from and defer to one another in areas of wisdom
  5. Value the relationship over issues to be one
  6. Always work for unity and against division
  7. A domineering spouse damages the marriage
  8. There is a 100% success rate for couples who both obey God’s Word

Mark and Grace close in prayer

Mark Driscoll
[email protected]

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