How do you find good friends? (Proverbs)

How do you find good friends? (Proverbs)


6 Kinds of Relationships

  • Interact 500-2500 people a year
  • Jesus constant crowds – sick, demon possessed, needed, mental illness, disciples, critics
  • How did Jesus remain healthy & have relationships w/unhealthy people

3 Ways to View People 

John 2:24-25 (NLT), “But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.”

  1. Naive
  2. Paranoid
  3. Discerning

Treat Different People Differently 

Proverbs 24:1-3, 5-7 Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them, for their hearts devise violence, and their lips talk of trouble…A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory. Wisdom is too high for a fool; in the gate he does not open his mouth.

Wise People 

Proverbs 9:8-9 “…correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.”

  • No one is wise in every area

Wise – not smart 

  1. Humble
  2. Teachable
  3. Embraces Reality
  4. Empathy
  5. Responsible
  6. Seeks to learn & grow
  7. Welcomes messenger

= conflict & correction grows relationship

= more time, energy, money, access, information

Live by Spirit = Personal Relationship

Foolish People 

Proverbs 1:7“…fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

Proverbs 26:3 “Guide a horse with a whip, a donkey with a bridle, and a fool with a rod to his back!”

  • Everyone foolish in areas & at times

Foolish – not dumb = Pastoral 

  1. Proud (conflict)
  2. Unteachable
  3. Denies Reality
  4. Selfish (low empathy)
  5. Irresponsible Victim
  6. Wants others to change, not them
  7. Shoots messenger

= Fun, people enjoy but do not respect

= irresponsible, shift responsibilities & burdens to others, Bad gas mileage

= consequences, boundaries,

Live by Flesh = Pastoral Relationship

Evil People

Proverbs 2:12-15 “Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted. These men turn from the right way to walk down dark paths. They take pleasure in doing wrong, and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil. Their actions are crooked, and their ways are wrong.”

  1. Dangerous
  2. Righteous victim
  3. Tormented & tormenting
  4. Hurt & hurting
  5. Entitled
  6. Threatening
  7. Bitter envy & selfish ambition

= if you engage, you will enrage (Judas)

= protect, separate, necessary ending, set boundaries w/foolish people, pray for professionals

Live by Demonic = Professional Relationship

6 Kinds of Relationships 

  1. Wise + Foolish = parental relationship
  2. Wise + Evil = distant relationship
  3. Foolish + Foolish = codependent relationship
  4. Foolish + Evil = abusive relationship
  5. Evil + Evil = dangerous relationship
  6. Wise + Wise = healthy relationship

4 Closing Questions

  1. Are there any areas of your life that are foolish or evil?
  2. Which relationships with foolish people do you need to manage better this year?
  3. Which relationships with evil people do you need to protect yourself from this year?
  4. Who do you love that you should share this information with?


Mark Driscoll
[email protected]

It's all about Jesus! Read More