Real Advice for Real Men

  • As a man we carry a burden for our wives and kids.
  • If you lead in work or church, you carry an additional burden.
  • Most difficult season of our life.
  • Complex Grief

1. Past ended, future unknown

2. Everything in life changed instantly – city/stage, job, schools, church

3. $ future completely unknown

4. Moved AZ 5 kids, no job, vrbo

5. Tree fell on house MOLLIE I NEED THE PHOTO

  • In past, I had not responded well (fight/flight) health, Jeep day
  • My family needed me to carry the load, I needed the Lord to help carry the load

The Holy Spirit vs the spirit of fear

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

  1. Holy Spirit wants you to have 1). power to live 2). love for others 3). self-control
  2. Demonic spirit named fear wants to rob you of 1). power 2). love 3). self-control

I asked the Holy Spirit

#1. Healthy (food, drink, sleep, weight, exercise, etc.)

#2. Priorities drive decision-making (XN, Husband, Father, Pastor)

#3. Family meetings for general updates, 1-1 age appropriate info & processing/prayer

#4. Wise counsel (vs simpletons)?

#5. Who gets what burden (God. Grace. Friends. Professional. not kids).

#6. Get as much normal & fun on the calendar as possible

#7. Made plans in pencil (pivot vs process leadership)

#8. Lament reality. Run to worst case scenario.

#9. Found God’s people & did life with people who had it worse to give perspective.

#10. Set times for checking Good News and negative news.

#11. Woke up daily to try and do my best to walk in God’s will that day.

#12. Looked for the blessings along the way, including the little things.


Today – many of my greatest fears have come true. I have Jesus, Grace, kids, health, joy, peace that surpasses understanding, keen sense where Home is!

In times that are unknown, men carry burdens not only for themselves but for their families. This talk gives real advice that real men can use in the face of crisis and unknown.
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