The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

  • Sociologists tell us that the average person interacts with 500-2000 people a year.
  • Not only do we manage our relationships, but also our family & extended family.

The Ugly – Evil People

Romans 1:28-32 since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

1.   Intentionally dangerous

2.   “Righteous” victim

4.   Hurt & hurting

3.   Tormented & tormenting

5.   Controlling, demanding, domineering

6.   Threatening – fear/punishment

7.   Win-Lose – no empathy or compassion

8.   Live by demonic

= if you engage, you will enrage

Live by Demonic = Professional relationship (cops, attorneys, counselors)

= Jesus & Judas


The Bad – Foolish People

Romans 1:20-22 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools,

= Everyone foolish in areas & at times

1.      Not less intelligent or less educated

2.      Irresponsible, unteachable, always have an excuse

3.      Denies reality & does not learn from failure

4.      Selfish (low empathy) & blameshifts

5.      Burden givers, not burden lifters

6.      Life draining, not life giving

7.   May be fun but not respected

8.   Mainly moved by pain

= consequences, boundaries, assignments

Live by Flesh = Pastoral relationship

WARNING – gravity pulls from foolish to evil

= Jesus & Peter

The Good – Wise People

Romans 1:8, 11-12,14 I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world…For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine…I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians,[d] both to the wise and to the foolish.

= No one wise in every area

1.   Not most intelligence or education – humble & teachable

2.   Self-motivated to mature

3.   Embrace reality & changes to align w/reality

4.   Empathy & awareness of how their actions affect others

5.   Responsible & follows through on tasks

6.   Has a pattern of apologizing, repenting owning failure

7.   Healthy conflict & correction grows the relationship

8.   Looking at where they started, you see progress

= more time, energy, money, access, information

Live by Spirit = Personal Relationship

*notebook story

6 Kinds of Relationships

1.                  Wise + Foolish = parental relationship

2.                  Wise + Evil = distant relationship

3.                  Foolish + Foolish = codependent relationship

4.                  Foolish + Evil = abusive relationship

5.                  Evil + Evil = dangerous relationship

6.                  Wise + Wise = healthy relationship

Discussion Questions

  1. What step can you take to grow in wisdom?
  2. Who are the wise people you can learn from?
  3. Who are the foolish people you need to set boundaries with?
  4. Who are the evil people you need to protect yourself and your family from?

This practical talk from Real Men based in the book of Romans can help anyone distinguish how to deal with various people in their lives based on the categories of wise, foolish, and evil.
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