11 Jun Why is Your Spouse the Second Most Important Decision of Your Life? (Genesis 24:1-67)
- Adam & Eve – God brought together as adults & only other person on earth
- Noah & Wife – know nothing about their early years & marriage
- Abraham & Sarah – know nothing about their early years & marriage
- Isaac & Rebekah – first snapshot believers pre & post marriage
- Genesis 24 longest single narrative section in Genesis
- Married – see if you did not have some cracks in your foundation to repair
- Single – see God’s plan for your marriage
- Parent – see God’s plan for your child’s marriage
READ GENESIS 24
- Abraham & Sarah promised son & legacy – Isaac single late 30’s, marry @ 40
- Abraham/father takes active responsibility for child’s marriage
- Surrounded by Canaanites (godless forbidden to marry Deut. 7:3-4; Josh 23:12)
- Travel around 450? Mi = believing wife/marriage
- Romance @ well – Moses & Zipporah; Isaac & Rebekah; Jacob & Rachel
- One of first times in Bible someone prays for God’s will
- Rebekah – 10 camels = 25 gallons water ??
- God unseen hand of providence @ work (no message or miracle)
= 2nd most important decision? Spouse!
The Success Sequence For Men
- Isaac is living as a believer before marriage
- Isaac has a career and income
- Isaac invites God into his marriage with faith & prayer
- Isaac seeks help from a godly parent & wise counsel
- Isaac does not cohabitate or father a child out of wedlock
- Isaac marries a believer & they live as believers
- Isaac is drawn to all of Rebekah
- Isaac chooses his love and keep loving his choice
Western Dating Is 100 Year Failed Experiment
- 1896 word “dating” – introduced lower class slang for prostitution
- Early 1900’s calling – the primary for people & woman’s home in parlor
- Early 1900’s young women discouraged going out alone w/male = bad reputation & danger
- Early 1900’s women’s magazines (e.g. Ladies Home Jour 1+ million subscribers 1900)
- 1920’s urbanization = outside home (e.g. restaurants, movies, dance halls, bars, parties etc.)
- 1930’s automobile = man in control away from her family/friends
- 1930’s dating overtook calling – $$$ competitive expensive dates
- 1940’s dating = economic male/female relationships & pressure for sexual favors
- 1960’s the feminist movement pushes men to treat women like men
- 1960’s sexual revolution = sexual anarchy, disease, & increasing perversion
- 1960’s Playboy was put behind the counter
- 1960’s the birth control pill = sex without fear of getting pregnant
- 1970’s Playboy & Penthouse put out on the shelf
- 1973 abortion legalized which further encourages sex outside of marriage
- 1974 no fault divorce
= 1. Sexual assault 2. Cohab 3. Out wedlock births 4. Abortion
Marriage Myth #1 When you turn 18 you know what you are doing.
Parents: As children get older, parents must move from control to coaching
Marriage Myth #2 I have to be in a relationship.
- Jesus perfect life was single & virgin
Marriage Myth #3 I need to marry my “soulmate”.
Plato – Greek Myth., 2 ppl joined @ rear w/3 genders/sex spectrum (androgynous), Zeus cut ½
Marriage Myth #4 Churches are for weddings, not marriages and families.
The Institute for family Studies reports, “those who attend religious services are about 30-50% less likely to divorce…The communal aspect of religious attendance…rather than self-assessed spirituality or private practice…matters the most…the communal religious experience is powerful…shared family religious activities and praying together…[create] greater relationship satisfaction and greater levels of trust…both religious service attendance and joint prayer may be vital resources for strengthening marriage and trust, and for promoting happier, healthier, and fuller lives.
Marriage Myth #5 Christians divorce at the same rate as everyone else
- Highest divorce rate – husband and wife both practicing different religions
- Lowest divorce and domestic violence rate – husband and wife both practicing Christians
Marriage Myth #6 It is better to marry later in life than earlier.
The Institute for family Studies reports, “religious Americans are less likely to divorce even as they are more likely to marry younger than 30… religion reduces young adults’ odds of cohabiting prior to marriage, even though it increases their likelihood of marrying at a relatively young age. Yes, very young marriage still has risks (as does very late marriage), but religious upbringings seem to partly compensate for those risks, especially among women marrying in their 20s…religion fosters relationship stability by pushing young adults away from cohabitation, which is highly unstable, and towards marriage, which is much more stable.
Marriage Myth #7Cohabitating is a helpful trial before marriage.
The Institute for family Studies reports, “Today, more than 70% of marriages are preceded by cohabitation…cohabiting before marriage, especially with someone besides your future spouse, is also associated with an increased risk of divorce, as a recent Stanford study reports.”
Marriage Myth #8 If we our started on the wrong foundation, it cannot be repaired.
= Lk. 6 – Jesus talks about building A. No foundation B. Rock Foundation
What Process Should Christians Have for Marriage?
- Godly friendship
- Intentional Dating (vs Casual Dating)
-Exclusive
-Honors the person & their support network
-Is overt not covert
-Is non-sexual
-The intent is to find a spouse
- Premarital Counseling
- Engagement
- Marriage (covenant and consummation)
- Lifelong repenting, learning, worshipping, loving
